my worst fear

his dirty clothes in the hamper.
Netflix asking me if I want to continue watching.
his coffee mug, half-filled, cold, black,
and the stain his mouth left.

his unopened bag of beef jerky,
all the things torn open,
growing green with mold, bite marks.
the gun in the closet.

a picture I painted for him when we dated.
his favorite spot on the couch.
Ford Mustang.
resin in the pipe.
private things.

old cards.
how far the driver’s seat is from the pedals.
pictures.
PS3.
a flat tire.

his smile.
hair on his pillow.
half bottle of cologne.
his family’s blame.

our 25th Anniversary.
our 30th Anniversary.
our 40th Anniversary.

our 50th.

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Kaci Skiles Laws is a closet cat-lady and creative writer who reads and writes voraciously in the quiet moments between motherhood and managing Crohn's Disease. She grew up on a small farm in a Texas town alongside many furry friends, two sisters, and two brothers. She has known tragic loss too well, and her writing is a reflection of the shadows lurking in her psyche. Her debut chapbook, Strange Beauty, is available from Dead Man's Press Ink on Amazon, and her work can be viewed at: https://kaciskileslawswriter.wordpress.com/